MUCH ADO ABOUT THE PARTY

All I can say is "this is not a party, its like we should have just been given our food packs at the cultural day". Yea, it was that bad. From the DJ to the atmosphere, from the 'comedian' to the food. Oh the food, don't let me even get started with the food. However, we would have to start somewhere won't we?

The party committee came out, spoke and even urged us to pay a whooping 1,500 like 19,800 is enough for our monthly needs. They spoke about how this party would be different from the rest, how there would be a red carpet, nice hall and even an after party. As usual people won't agree with the fee, some even said 'what does after party mean?' Can't help but laugh out loud, but the initiative was good its just that the presentation wasn't top notch. After it was deliberated upon the usual 1,000 was agreed and they went to work. Not to bore y'all let me simply dive right into it.

THE DJ
I can't start from anywhere else but the DJ. I mean coming from a member of the party committee who said the DJ was 'tested and trusted' I believe on the night the DJ tasted like chloroquine, I spit it out mehn. The DJ only played Shakiti Bobo and some Wande Coal.. No Lil Kesh, no DavidO, no Wizkid, not even Kiss Daniel or Tiwa Savage. Not to mince words the DJ was watery, and if he was tested he definitely would have come out negative. Even after the whole award and all the DJ wasn't up to the task so for me the DJ was a 0 mehn.

THE COMEDIAN
Obviously the heading is wrong because this guy was no comedian. He was just saying stories that were irrelevant to the event or even the joke, he himself was a joke and still I couldn't put up a laugh. He should quit the game and venture into either dancing or hypeman I guess that's also a career now. So this guy got 0 just because there's no -1 or something. Poor

THE MC
This is like the only person that actually knew he came to do a job and prepared and also dressed the part. He interracted well even when Esther was feeling a celeb that just got signed, he even cracked jokes that were funnier than the comedian himself. If this was his career he would be leading in Ogbomoso but who knows. For him its 7

THE PEOPLE
The guests were just there, not interracting and it was even like another CDS the setting was just different. People taking tables and there was no mingling whatsoever, it didn't make the party interesting and I believe that's not what the committee had in mind.

THE AWARDS
Even though some people said the award wasn't up to their expectations I couldn't care less... I mean what would that do for me but the award is somewhat like a recognition for them. I was actually startled at the emergence of the Most handsome and Most beautiful, even though I don't have candidates but hey the people voted and they have their winner. No jabs seriously. The awards for me was just there so I give it a 5.

THE FOOD
This is the last I would talk about because it was below par, it was the lowest point of the party and I didn't enjoy myself. What makes a party if not the food? Why did I fast the whole day just to get served perboiled rice or should I say semi-cooked rice? I couldn't care less about how small the moin-moin is or the meat but the rice? Cmon! I was prepared for that sh*t, mehn as I carry one spoon for mouth my morale drop to level 0. It was an eyesaw, I have never had that kind of meal served to me at an outing in my many years of owanbe and even get togethers.. It was really really painful. As you can see my level of 'parament' I was prepared for the meal but alas dem call my hand. So as usual I give the food people 0.

THE COMMITTEE
I can't but talk about you guys, even though I know you guys on a personal note I can't mince words with you guys. Even though your intentions were good and your plans might have been frustrated y'all still didn't meet up to expectations. People really had high hopes and some really low and at least u fulfilled one, the organisation might have been good but the execution was just not it. The table arrangement, the decoration, the food and everything in between. I can't but just give you guys a 3 because y'all didn't turn up. Learn and be better moving forward.

As usual my job here is done. You can always leave a comment and don't take this too hard, its just the job of a critic and also learn from it. It was nice writing about something like this becuase we won't have the time to ask questions about how the money was spent so this is my way of writing. Like the saying goes 'the pen is mightier than the sword. I'm out!

Graduating from the University

Graduating from the University

What are your thoughts after graduating? What is going through your mind when u finally wear that gown and realise 'I'm no longer an undergrad'? Its more than just a thought, its more or less like a wake into reality sort of, a kick from the dream called 'school life'. Been there, and have lived a few moments with friends too but for the first time I thought after going to a recent convocation of a friend that 'am I where I wanna be'?

Most times its to wait for NYSC Posting which most times is not what we expect, some end up being posted after most of their friend's have gone for service while some get posted to remote parts of the country and most states where 'nobody' wants to serve. That being said however, its not what happens during service that matters but what one has decided to do right before service and the goals you have set down before being posted. Although the goals vary with where you are being posted to because some states have better opportunities available than others.

So as I see the smiles on the faces on these fresh graduates I can't help but think 'what is your pln after graduation?'. With the merry going on around and friends hugging and wishing themselves well, this is like the beginning of another phase which would be more focused on self rather than grades. The best way to serve your fatherland is to ask yourself 'what can I do for my country?' And not 'hope the state I get posted to would be paying me alongside the federal allocation?'.

NO ALLOWEE NO WORK

As election day is coming closer and monthly allowee is yet to be paid I couldn't help but see and read the comments of Corp members nationwide. Everyone impatiently awaiting alert as obviously the allowee for the previous month has been exhhausted. I should not get started on how it has all been tiresome to even live under the conditions in this part of the country but I guess every corp member experiences the same thing. 

Apart from the Federal Allowance the state is yet to pay for the past 3 months and that alone is frustrating enough. Even though corp members cannot go on strike they can decide however, not to go to work to show their grieviance. This year has been delicate enough and I foresee what happened in 2012 to repeat itself, but still we triumph. Lots of corp members r begining to draw from their 'savings' while some have no choice but to compromise.

It is even surprising that we had funds as undergrads than as Corp members. Its like we are moving forward but in a way we are backwards, like I said to someone its not the allowee that is the problem but the uncertainty after the scheme. At least one is having a steady income for 12 months, so how do you go from having a steady income one month to not know where the next fund would come from the next month.

Last month's allowee has not been paid and we are already almost out of the first week of the new month. I would not want to talk politics but politics is written all over it and when u raise the issue the phrase is always "NYSC doesn't owe anybody" what do you call this then? Keeping our money for us? Maybe after the election everybody would focus on what is really important like steady electricty, good education and better foreign policy plus adequate security. In fact there are many things to be done for us to be counted as a serious nation, but not to crowd this place with unnecessary talk lest just hope we get paid in the morning... Let me leave you with this thought "would you be defined by the 19,800 you get or by the job you get after NYSC?" Look beyond the allowee and towards your future, NYSC never loved us, Corper come corper go ni... NYSC still remains, Nigeria's ours.....

BOYS BOYS BOYS

Hi people! Last time I talked on girls and the categories there are, hopefully I was speaking at least to some extent an atom of truth. However, it would not be complete without me talking on the types of boys we have to complement this series. I mean what is good for the goose is good for the gander right? Also we cannot have these categories of girls and not have boys its just not balanced yet. That being said there are categories of guys and as I guy it is only right to be able to identify a guy merely looking at him or hanging out with him for a few minutes. There are types of guys and I would get straight to it;

THE RELIGIOUS EXCOS: These guys from the sub-topic are the executives of their various fellowships. The difficulty I’m having though is some are taken as mainstream while some are “spirikoko”, there's no balance in the excos which makes the collection more interesting. These guys are the ones responsible for the new corpers coming in i.e the Otondos. Although they also have girlfriends but everything is always on a lowkey.
THE FAMILY HOUSE GUYS: These guys are not excos but they live in the family house either for one reason or the other. Sometimes they tend to lean towards the ‘world’ while sometimes they lean towards the religious and spiritual events but the main point is they don’t want to be controlled just because they live in the family house, they believe they should still do things on their own terms.
THE FLIRTS: These guys are seen in the midst of girls always laughing and making jokes. Its like these guys came to serve for one reason and one reason only; get the girls and get every tribe of them. There's no tribe that is off limits. These guys get their work done easily, don’t know how they do it but if you wanna learn you should just look for them right about that time after CDS meetings or even during the meetings, they don’t make contributions except when it involves getting the digits.
THE JOLLY-IST: These guys are the never dulling spirit guys, there's not a dull moment with them, they know the bar that bubbles, has the cheapest drinks and where there's the best pepper soup. These guys are good at spotting cool joints and nice locations. The interesting part of this group is they are not just guys but girls too. These set of guys don’t care about the service to the community but the service to living and jollying.
THE POLITICIANS: These set of guys actually are divided into two; the ones who eye the exco positions and the ones who talk the nation’s politics. The ones eyeing the exco position tend to always put themselves or try to lobby for the positions by one way or the other either by trying to do something in the local government or making contributions during CDS meetings. The ones always talking politics are obviously the ones interested in the election and its antics, they follow every form of news and begin their arguments from the campaign to the news filtering in. either way they are always in the know about who just left a political party or who just joined another party.

I hope I have categorized the guys accordingly, the guys are easy to spot and one can even be in more than one category unlike girls who can’t be in two groups without contradicting a code. Hope you have a wonderful week ahead and remember; birds of a feather flock together, its not who hangs out with you that influences you but who you hang out with. You choose your friends they don’t choose you, the choice is always yours.

GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS

As the topic implies im sure you know what I want to talk about but before I do that let me just make you all know they types of girls we have during service year or to be more specific the types of girls I have met during my service year in this my local government. Let me just put this disclaimer there though; this is not an attack on any individual nor is it a way to make me look cool, I might be wrong but like I said it is from my frustrated point of view. That being said im a controversial person and I don’t really fell you would understand me but just read and reader’s discretion is adviced.

The types of girls I have met during my stay in this local government are as follows;
THE CHRISTIAN SISTERS: These are the girls that are Christians and do everything more or less with the love of God. They are cool, would get into a conversation with you as long as its not profane babbling and it doesn’t offend them. I must say they are good cooks too plus unlike other girls who would rubbish you if you try to woe them they always let you off gently (at least the stories I’ve heard them say).
THE RELIGIOUS GIRLS: These are the ones we know are either chirstians or muslims but are not as religious as the first. For the Christians, they would allow you hug, cheer them up and even go the extra mile of trying to impress them but when you begin to nurture than interest they cut you off and break your heart. For the muslims, there’s handshaking and hugging at some point unlike those with no touch policy but you can’t go beyond friendship because they are supposedly ‘engaged’. These set make it interesting but where’s the fun when its all game to them and the game ends at first half.
THE IGBO GIRLS: These girls are fun mehn!! First they drink and don’t shy away from taking them to a bar just to hang out and just have some fun. Secondly they are easy to talk with (at least the ones that are not towering over you). They might not be easily given to just hang out with someone outside their tribe, they stick to males of their tribes and flow too well because of their language. At the end of the day an Igbo girl would rather date an igbo guy than date someone from another tribe.
THE YORUBA GIRLS: These are the ones that might not know how to cook but know how to chat a guy up just for means within their hearts. I have discovered that unlike their igbo counterparts they are easy to talk to and easy to get it on with. Although most of them don’t drink or don’t drink as often. Most of them are in relationships or get into relationships during service.
THE JOVIAL GIRLS: These girls are fun anytime of the day. They are the ones who every guy wants to hang out with or date but only one guy has the key to the heart, even at that they still flow with everybody as if they don’t have a relationship making everybody they talk with smile and have a good time while they are there. Although I only see the platonic side I don’t know what’s happening under-G and even if I do its not time to start pulling out the hare from the hat yet.
THE MOTHERLY GIRLS: these are the ones who either have children they bring to CDS or they care for you like a mother. The ones with children are either looking like they came from war or they are looking as dashing as ever even with a cute handsome boy. I’m a sucker for cute babies so I appreciate the mothers. The other though are those who when you visit them would make sure you have enough to eat and even if you want some take away. These are the ones that always look out for you even when you have left their places. A joy to be with an friends to have when allowee don dey reach ground zero
AND THE FLIRTATIOUS GIRLS: these girls are the ones you know are either not serious or are just looking for your cash or something extra. It goes both ways but if you are one with an eye you would definitely know them and its not by their dressing. I should tell you a secret but I won’t. for the guys who like to have fun they would definitely attract them.

These are the sets of girls we have in service (according to me and what I’ve seen) and its up to you to know the ones you attract and even if you attract the ones you want there are some you should move close to rather than attract. Another week and the countdown is imminent, the month going to an end and I can’t wait to collect my RIGHT. Remember its not how you begin that matters its how you hold till the end because the end is definitely greater than the beginning.

DIARY OF A FRUSTRATED CORPER

This is the first of many series and I just want to start with this; service year is not a year to think of how your life has been or a year to make money. The way the government has scheduled it, service year is a frustrating year where you have enough time but limited access either to what you really want to do or what you really should do. Even though there are opportunities to learn a trade or a skill it still limits you in terms of the technical know-how. This might be a place where I complain or just simply let out my frustration but it is also a place where I let you all know how I am coping with my service year in this local government(which I won’t mention except for you that know me personally). Service year should be a year where we serve our father land and also integrate due to the different cultures, traditions, languages, religions in our beloved country but as we can see now the aim and ethos as my friend would say is being sidelined these days. There’s no passion or can I say patriotism and even the graduates with professional courses are thrown into schools to teach.

How would a graduate of quantity surveying or someone who studied Microbiology end up teaching Biology or chemistry in school when after service year the person would be looking for a job in a hospital or a laboratory? A service year where all we do is go to school for four days in a week and even the CDS day is just more or less like a day where we just come together and talk on issues that won’t even improve us. Although I laud the effort of NYSC in introducing SAED but that is something we can always do if we are interested and not be forced down our throats, service year has been forced on us already why force Skill Acquisition on us too?

The first 3 months of service is always interesting from the camp experience to settling down and getting to know people on ground, the way they accept you and tell you “this local government is the best” you really enjoy it and obviously believe them until u get settled down and realize “it’s not as they say it”. You get to the fifth month and then the months begin to drag, the school begins to get boring and you just want something different. From the sixth month to the eighth month it’s like you want something more but all you can get is what is around you. By the way I’m talking from my own point of view meaning my own Place of Primary Assignment, and here you have little to hold on to even if the state capital is 2 hours away you still cannot just decide to go to the capital one afternoon (although I can) without thinking of the cost and also the risk involved.

The last 3 months of service to me is also fun because that is the winding down and Passing Out and it’s also a time to round up all the programs one is having from the school to the SAED programs and all you have come to do. I am simply just summarizing as I would buttress on points bothering me and the challenges I’m facing plus what is really making me frustrated about this service. Should it be scrapped though? That question I would always dodge because its purpose is quite good but the situation of the country now does not support the ethos of NYSC. I’m really frustrated as each day I wake up and think “what would I achieve today” not just to my PPA but towards myself, how am I improving because at the end of the day it’s me, my certificate and my destiny no more allowee and no secured job. May we rise above the stereotype of our leaders and those that believe we are only as good as our last jobs.